more than a thousand channels on tv and i find nothing of interest so reruns of family guy play in the background and the plan to lose myself in audio-visual escapism fails tonight which sucks because it started pouring outside so the plan for a long walk with happiness was cancelled and staying up later to hope the rain stops spoils the plan to let myself fall asleep which almost happened a minute ago but was thwarted because i took happiness out for a brief pee-quick-in-the-rain walk and drying him and myself and the rain woke me so i turned back to tv and back to nothing on so this is ridiculous again...
obviously i am a lot less lonely when i have the money to buy social life, even though that is settling for the surface sharing fun, the deeper loneliness does not rise to the surface cuz i am too busy working and buying social life... which leads to the increase in loneliness i am experiencing and mentioning here, there, and everywhere kind of a lot lately...
maybe a nap...
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