another night wakes me

yeah, as jackson and friend head to bed, i am waking... happiness will likely come out and keep me company for a bit, especially if i decide to eat, and the tv is on cuz they turned it on when they got home... i was not interested... but the distraction it offers will likely suck me in, especially if i give into the food distraction... and sleep?... not anywhere in sight...

so perhaps it is time for food... i have not been eating much lately unless someone else brings the food... social eating reminds me i am hungry otherwise i have little appetite... yeah, the signs of depression are popping up here and there, but on the other hand, i definitely want to drop weight and consciously changing my diet is seriously on my mind so i am using the stress wisely (from my perspective, but then, what do i know, aye?)...

any day now i might stop this pathetic nonsense, but for now, it continues (even as the healthy kids in my head laugh at me... dang peanut gallery always having their fun at my expense... narf, dangit, narf narf :}