needy dog

so needy it's sad... whenever jackson is gone he just sits and stares at me for attention, food, or walks and is always sitting or laying in my way... if i appear to be standing up, he makes sure i know he's ready for attention, food, or outside... if i eat, he stares... the trouble more and more lately is when we do go out, which is almost every two hours, he fights coming back in and pulls toward cars... i think it is about missing his mommy and wanting every car to be her coming home... trouble is, cars will kill him and he has started running in front of them... and he's learned to pull off his leash because he has a small head and big neck and collars can't be tightened enough to stay on if he pulls just right... i'm thinking about getting a choke collar because i am tired of apologizing to neighbors but even more, i am stressing over him getting hit by a car and killed while i am walking him... he's stressing me out when jackson's not home and jackson's not home a lot... i hate the aging process he is going through... the accidents and clean ups and extra walks and staring and pacing and begging and neediness is annoying at times, but the sadness of knowing he is nearing the end is the sadness and stress we are living with these days...

and it leaves me feeling so sad and alone when i am home alone... the energy of neediness may just be contagious... it is tough being empathic... poor me, huh?... no, poor dog... though the reminder that i am getting older is no fun, he is the one dying...

narf...