fat truth sucks

really, i had the best of intentions and still do, but i have wandered away from the path of goodness and righteousness as long as we both shall live... wait, that's another story... i mean i have drifted off task, the task being living a healthy life as if i want to continue living a healthy life for a long long time cuz when it comes to the consumption of calories, i consume about twice as much as i need some days and the last two or three weeks i've had a lot of those days... in a row... consecutively... yes, the body of evidence is clear, i am years past my prime and allowed myself (body, mind, soul, anima, ka, etc.) to vege into obvious stupidity (with a touch of haunting memories of conscious awareness and perfection)... alas, i knew it all once...

the ignorance i have accepted in some selfless attempt to be normal (or was it a selfish attempt to quell loneliness?... yeah, one of those... or both) has consumed me and all that is left is a bloated shell of my former self... if only losing one's mind helped one's body lose weight, i'd be svelt and feeling so much less lethargically inclined... you must have know, you watch it happen, or at least read about it... you might have saved me if you wanted too... but no, now that i am an unattractive pathetic ball of pre-diabetic blubber with no core which is so sad, i mean, even the fat girl pitching softball with no neck has a core, i mean, just watch her swing, but not me, i am a blob of jellified flesh masticating away, or something like that...

there, that ought to wake me up to the slow suicidal tendencies i've been living in recent years... it might not be in time to return to myself or survive the insanity, but at least i will be more aware of why i die when i die... next time, i intend to focus more consistently on sex which ought to keep the body motivated to stay healthier and quell the out of control taste buds... yeah, the kissing diet, that's what i'll do next time... i mean, if there is a next time... life, that is...

narfat sucks too, even as i laugh at myself...

narf :}