stuff to do

i could be exercising but it is 3:00 am and i worked so many hours hours play softball and did not get enough sleep and once again i am giving into the fear that pushing the body too much will hurt it or even kill it even though time and time again i proved to myself that i can push the body to exercise even when fatigued and yet, every year brings this body closer to actual body death and sooner or later that actual point of injury or death when pushing exercise on the body without enough rest will happen and then what... the point of the exercise, after all, is to enhance and prolong life, not end it... such a delicate balance, this life, becoming more and more delicate, precarious, even, with each passing year... and alone, there is so much more reason to avoid the end because, after all, the reason for continuing the living process, besides enjoying it, is to share it, to find the one and share everything...

the least i can do is stand up and type so i use a bit more energy and burn a few more calories and avoid butt ache or rhoids or whatever... even better, i could buy that elliptical machine i've been talking about buying for years and actually exercise while i am typing (it would take some time to master the skill but i probably could, even at this adult stage of life, though it would have been easier to acquire the skill at the teen or childhood stages when everything is easier to learn but that is past and this is now maybe i could do something else... like opening some of boxes or at least putting some of the stores of food away that i bought last week...