am i hurting anyone by writing here?

i am not so much thinking about strangers but the friends i mention here, especially jackson who gets mentioned here a lot and being that we share life and space and food and money and everything else that can bring stress and irritation and discomfort and frustration at times, i am concerned that my public (not that it's read much) venting might hurt as i know she doesn't want to be any sort of stressor or frustration in this life for me... but living with someone does make for some unpleasant feelings sometimes and i do not want to repress suppress or use any other harmful defense mechanisms so i release my frustrations and discomforts into words and come as close to prayer as i get in this like that it doesn't hurt her... she is so precious to me... sister, friend, family, confident more than anyone else in this life... i treasure her heart and forgive all of her imperfections (as she forgives mine) and hope more than anything in this life that my venting here from time to time does not cause her any stress or pain or hurt... i hope you let me know if it does, for i never want to lose our trust...

and it's not just jackson i do not want to hurt (she's just closest and what's that saying?... yeah, distraction, aside, weak humors, could write a song about it no doubt)... can i trust you to believe my bottom line? (as vulnerable as it gets, it you get that... you can negate me by not believing me now... am i praying you don't?)...

my prime directive (if you get that meaning) is harm no one, do no harm, but even deeper for me, honesty without harm... that may be impossible as honesty requires truth most of the time and truth can feel painful sometimes, but there is no intent to harm and i firmly believe lies are infinitely more harmful than truth... suppression is a passive lie... and so i feel justified in babbling on about everything, even the most personal of life experiences... but still, i hope i am understood... my intention is to resolve and not add to stress... i feel so alone when i come to this wondering...

please share the honesty without harm and may you find the peace it brings... anything else is not as safe, secure, true, or real... anything else is not honest love...

i wish you peace and honest love...