yes, could be... or could be record of the life lived which at last report was still missing... meanwhile, in (e)thereal world, who knows what might be going on because nobody really shares the truth and depths with me (or cares, even) and the surface is so transient and pretentious and easily manipulated to be what we want it to be that, well, anything is possible and all this may or may not be what is really happening...
or it could just be the pressure of poverty, relatively speaking... first world poverty that comes from spending more than earning... supporting two people on my salary and paying off a new car has been unpleasantly detrimental to my savings and any chance i have of retiring any time in this life without a sudden and quite unexpected windfall and the past month plus i simply stopped spending on anything but gas and eating all of the stored foods in the house is sad and stressful and really rather distracting...
so what's really going on?... there's only one way to find out, but she's not here... the one, ya know?...
still the same old story...
narf too :)
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