don't be sad

cuz sad don't feel so good... and it is a choice, in the end, to feel what we want to feel because feeling are generated by perspective and perspective is a choice... so i am not pleased with jackson as another year moves toward it's fourth month and i am giving her more money than she is giving me and i am paying all the rent and bills and she still avoids sitting down and talking about why she spends all her money without paying much, if any living expenses... and i don't want to think about trading in the car but that has been on my mind this week... i dragged my feet buying the car for this very reason and we talked about it and we were close to an understanding that we needed to not let the pattern of the last few years continue... at least i thought we were...

and here i sit tired from a very long and challenging work week and jackson is out on a date (hopefully the date is paying for everything) and we didn't have the talk about why i had to give her more money this week... frustrating, but don't be sad... cuz the joy of giving is still a blissful happiness for me... just adding disappointment and frustration tempers the joy, but still, not sad... cuz i am doing what feels good for me...

meanwhile, happiness is getting older by the minute and he needs to go out again... jackson is going to be quite upset with herself for not spending more time with him in these last year(s)... thing is, if you are true to yourself you will know happiness... first though, you must find yourself... yeah, that's the ticket...

narf...