sleeping in, sort of

that is what jackson is doing today and i hope happiness allows her to stay asleep past nine... i woke on my own about an hour ago and the previous entry tells a bit about the current state of physical existence in this body as i sit quietly as still as possibly and wait for some recovery of the nerve pinched in my lower spine (this may be a test of jackson's compassion, patience, and tolerance, though i do not think that is the primary reason it is happening)... there has been worse, but definitely enough so that the idea of a jog is out for now in spite of the beautiful morning for it...

i know i've been gone from here (as in this writing life as i circle and spiral meandering backwards and forwards through body and mind and this and that {and i do so much appreciate the inspiration of your comments and emails and texts and calls} with less than half dozen entries all week, ya see) again a lot this week and all we can determine is that the phase of uneasiness due to a combination of loneliness and financial drain and mind-body aging and the sad human condition is stressing the synapses more than usual and leaving the mind seeking distraction and pause, rather than the excitement of awareness and sharing in words... this phase has lasted longer than some, perhaps longer than most, but i believe serious concern over my internal state and processes is still premature and if not for the tweak to the back keeping me sitting very still this morning, the perspective and energy would likely be a lot higher at the moment...

i blame the continuously weakening abs and core... unnaturally, of course... and more naturally, i laugh cuz we know blame is futile and for me, the irreverent plaything of the idle mind that i do not take seriously... fault is relative, after all, as the path to root cause is often infinite... and so, the body tells me to rest more today than previous days in spite of all the rest it's been getting for quite some time, which is some sort of message i will leave on the wind with whatever other answers there might be...

some days are more imaginary than others :)

narf :)