not quite apathy

as i find myself thinking about the pros and cons of spending $200 on running shoes that look like something worth of shouting go go gadget... running shoes before embarking on a daily jog, i wonder how far along this losing interest pause in daily babbling will go... yes, i know, it seems as though i am still almost daily babbling (i missed one date so far that has not been part of the extended process that continues even as it spurts and stops and spurts some more) and as often is the case at these moments, i wonder if i will ever truly pause, as in walk away from uploading words for an extended period (an extended period being one of weeks or more, i suppose)... it's just another random thought that comes during these phases of scattered ambivalence and nonchalant sharing and sighs when the inner and outer inspirations and hopes and dreams and curiosities and all else that brings me to this love of writing seem to all wane at once and even irreverent amusement tires of the process...

it doesn't usually last long though, as you may notice for yourself if you've been around here for a while or simply wander back or forward through the archives of entries that number in the thousands in this blog alone or any of the other many dozens of other blogs in the seemingly endless streams of words that feed what i call the written gardens... it's not quite apathy, almost at times, and not even much boredom, though some... and while it is some part just resting the brain cells (and body), it is mostly just a wandering of the mind... someday the aimless (and mostly silent) mental wandering will most likely lead to a more permanent state like senility or other loss of coherent sentience (what?, but the hope it i shall return to continue babbling and at least one last time to bid the gardens (and you) adieu before the last breath fills the lungs in this body i inhabit in say, about a hundred years or so (hey, there's always hope... i hope)...

i still love you and hope you are enjoying life :)