frustrations

being alone is not the frustration... being alone when frustrated is not the frustration... not having a friend who cares enough to stick around, listen to a frustration vent, and offer a hug, that is the real frustration... so we head to softball and the team is taking smack let's run rule these guys and complaining that it's so hot they want to game over quick... well, it was over quick and we lost... they talked big, but they meant it when they said they did not want to play... lethargic lack of effort everywhere, and that was when they did not make errors... all we needed to do was play hard for an easy win and third place and a chance to go to the world series... they've been talking about going to the world series for weeks... but they apparently don't care when they are on the field... or are simply lazy sometimes, today being one of those times.., a really crappy way to end a season...

after the game they talked about playing volleyball and other games and everybody was all for playing, so where was the softball energy when it counted... i decided not to stick around, though jackson did (first time in a long time she didn't leave to get work done or see her girlfriend... curious decision since she's been away all weekend and falling further behind at work and really not taking care of herself or business (like a hundred bucks for rent/living expenses this month... four of the last five months she gave nothing, yet she is out buying starbucks and eating out with friends and taking trips out of town (ok, family is important, but so is paying for the roof over your head)... yeah, so i am venting frustrations...

would have been nice to have a friend here in space, but not today...

grumps...