separate now

the every moment nursemaid is not needed today, or at least not wanted... so yes, i will distract myself today and meditate my way into the alone place i know as home... jackson sent a few words, had a rough night, no answers to any of my questions (that feels bad... let it go... assume she is not alone and being taken care of)... raining outside... hopefully sanford is driving jackson around (sanford took the day off and insisted she drive down there so she could take care of her and be there for her, after all... assume all is well)... accept that jackson communicates very little when she is with sanford, just get used to it... no need for me to know anything... but text you had a rough night after yesterday and nothing more?... well, she knows i love her and i am here if she needs me...

ok, deep breath... and adjust perspective (hard core reality moment, like what if the worst happens)... it is time to remember the reality of life - we are alone in these bodies and people keep in touch and care when it is convenient or they need something - rarely do i find any proof to the contrary... so to paraphrase gavin friday once again, if she dies she dies... reality, nothing i can do about it... if she gets sent to the hospital or gets worse, hopefully somebody will let me know eventually... let go, be healthy, take care of me...

so what's new?... food, yes, food would be good now... and dr. who is on the tv... rainy day, must start car and drive a but later, hopefully the rain will let up, but if not, drive around in the rain a bit... maybe call a friend and go out for dinner (spend more money after yesterday's unexpected expenses?... shhhh, life goes on... take care of you)... real time around 11am, for the record and all...

make your day smile as much as you can :}