i nodded off and headed to bed as i finished the last entry, ready for sleep cuz i did not get enough sleep last night but also feeling lonely and depressed (it comes and goes if you are paying attention... doesn't yours?... shhhh, i won't tell if you don't want anybody to know... everybody does anyway) cuz nobody really knows me (or nobody who can find the stillness and peace within themselves that is required to reach me cares to, to be precise)... maybe nobody can... but anyway, i was ready for sleep and good sense would have kept me in bed through the night (since i did not eat today and definitely would have benefited from not eating today after the past few days of pigging out), but the phone rang... and a text came in... and another... and five more... and each time i somehow fell back to sleep (which shows how tired i was cuz falling to sleep when i am not tired has been a challenge cuz the arm so easily awakens me or keeps me awake)... but i locked the wrong lock on the door (subconsciously?) and jackson called so i could let her in (hey she did the same thing to me a couple of days ago, so maybe my subconscious has nothing to do with it)... i layed back down, but hunger was now knocking and fatigue was not as strong and i came out of my room to find jackson and sanford making dinner so i decided i would wait and go out for something (indulging emo-food?... but hungry too)...
they sat cuddling on the couch while we watched a bit of the ncaa tournament for a half hour, the showered and went to bed... i realized that i actually don't have sports friends to hang out with on a regular basis... the occasional superbowl party, but not the sports bar game... the fact that i do not drink or like sports bars much probably plays a role in that... anyway, my avid sports fan brain comes and goes and doesn't last long... it'll probably come back a bit next weekend :)
time to watch the end of the games, check my brackets, and then... food! :)
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