Sunday, March 31, 2013

insanity is not always a bad thing

so i get home from the party and i find a note on our doorstep... the note says "jackson, i believe we found something that belongs to you. please call me..." and a number... omg... omfg... omfig (that's oh my fucking insane gosh, in case you wondered)... please don't be some sort of horrible trick, some horrible attempt to lure a poor frantic girl into a vulnerable situation... please be a real good samaritan who has the laptop jackson lost... please let this be a wonderful gift of humanity that my dear precious naive roommate still believes is possible and this cynical old fart (that'd be me) has come to doubt... so i texted the number apologizing for the hour but explaining i hope the text does not wake them and they will find it in the morning and know they can call anytime that no hour is too early... omfig... how am i supposed to sleep not knowing if this is a good samaritan or a charlatan?... i can't wake jackson, she'd freak out until morning (why should two of us have to go through this... yeah, me holding the bag again... alone... but if this bag, so to speak, contains a laptop and important work documents, omfig, what a roller coaster life could be once again)... omfibg (yeah, oh my fucking insanely bipolar gosh, of course)...

ok, so reverse looking up the phone number tells me it belongs to someone who lives quite a distance from here and is not the name on the note, but reverse look-ups can be so wrong, so don't assume the worst... looking up my number comes up with a completely different name and address than my own and i've had this number for what?... maybe 15 years?... that's reassuring... not... so ok, i have developed a very cautious, even suspicious nature... it's been a very long time since any human showed me what could be this kind of honesty and compassion... so many things have been stolen from me by people i trusted to watch over them, no less simply stolen by strangers invading my space and/or betraying my trust... so how the heck am i supposed to sleep now (and i was nodding off twelve hours ago, dangit)... believe in people believe in people believe in people... repeat until morning...

shhhh, it's gonna be a long 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 or more hours... breathe...

i so hope they are early risers :)

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