communication

if we look back at the times i started exercising more and compare the flow of entries in the daily, i believe we will find a slowing of writing, even a pause... i believe that is because when i start waking up the body more, pushing the stamina and muscles and heart and everything physical to it's limits, i don''t want words... i want more physical sharing when i wake the body up... that does not necessarily mean sexual, especially not at first as the body is wasted and flabby and weak and unattractive and unpleasant to me as i adjust consciousness and awareness to the actual physical condition of the flesh and cells... it's a sick body, like most human bodies, and illness is not sexually attractive... the physical world opens to the senses as i wake the senses and it is sharing in the physical world that i seek...

that starts with communication... talking to myself is a fun game that occupies my time when i am hibernating from the physical world and i have been hibernating a long time, but time is irrelevant in the writing game... so waking up the body is a good thing, even if i don't write a dozen entries a day for a while... this journey through this world, this effort to understand the laziness, apathy, and self-destructive ways of humans, it is murder on the body... criminal minds is on in the background, perhaps i should point out that the word murder is on a literary device...

challenging, that is :}