as i take another step in the right direction as i fumble with the decision of whether i want to live or die (as i finally learned too well how to be a foolish human unconsciously playing stupid human games)... the legs ache, the body heaves, but no pain in the chest at all so that is a good sign, though a little lung strain would also be a good sign as that would mean i am pushing the body to new limits, but is this body too old for that?... alas... dummy... sad...
every day at least a four lap walk... every day at least a one lap jog... every day...
or die.
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