waking with jackson

which would be early for the a non-working monday... alas, the arm was awake enough to keep me awake... maybe jackson waking and taking happiness outside woke me, but the arm said stay up and do something productive, so here i am... is this productive?... sometimes, but let's not self-analyze this entry just now, the one can add that to the list of things she absolutely must do before the universe ends, or closes it's current spatial reality and moves on to whatever it might be next, with or without us... but let's get all cosmic spiritual now just because supernatural and the mentalist are on tv... i wish they would put a real sci-fi channel on tv with stories by and like the classics written by asimov, bradbury, heinlein, and those who reached beyond the base fears and superficiality that tv calls sci-fi these days, but let's not get critical just now...

jackson is doing the morning routine, shower, food, the usual... i think she got a bit perturbed last night when she noticed the trash and messy counters in the kitchen... she usually gets the trash and i usually clean the kitchen but i left it for the past four or five days cuz of the arm... nothing major, just wishing she had more time to clean up behind herself most of the counter stuff is crumbs from her breakfasts) and that we had a bigger kitchen so we didn't have to dance around the garbage can that we move around depending on what part of the kitchen we want to stand in... she is also tense cuz she worries about me and considers my casual wait until january to look for work scary, if not irresponsible... she, like most people, are more afraid of being without income than i am... it's kind of like a cliff that leads to landing on the street helpless hopeless depressed and/or in some other way emotionally, mentally, or physically broken or out of control... living paycheck to paycheck doesn't help...

and so her day begins out in the world where she works way too many hours trying to help people way way way closer the the cliff than she is, some who've gone off the cliff and are inches away from needing to be locked up for the safety of themselves or others (some who already have been and were just released to a precarious freedom)... she is on-call 24/7 and that is so unfair and wrong in so many ways, but that is the social service system in this capitalistic country... which leads to the obvious fact that religions tell people to help each other, but capitalism tells people it's every man for himself... and capitalism wins that argument on a day to day basis... of course...

sad really, how little people care about the fear and hypocrisy that destroys what really matters in life and replaces it with material superficiality... but let's not go getting all deep and philosophical just now, aye?...

narf :)