obviously bored and lonely

i mean, lonely happens now and then, more often lately, but bored is that not so often experience that, when coupled with lonely, gets excruciatingly blah and even more boring in words, so if you are also bored then, oh well, shall i drop my pants?... stand on my head?... fall off a ladder?... unfortunately, physical humor and slapstick does not work well in blogs and is likely to get me hurt or break the computer... i just seem to hack a lack of interest in much the past few days...

do people really have intimate relationships without sex?... i mean, do people who are not attracted to each other find happiness sharing everything non-physical and settle for fantasy and accept that and do all the relationship things happy?... without faking it?... i never got that (one more reason i am alone, of course)...

i also do not get the stresses and worries and guilts and possessiveness and priorities people i've met seem to choose (or were trained into choosing by habit)... will anyone ever truly want to understand me?... and take the time to try?... and wear skimpy underwear?... and look good in it?... and get all of my jokes?... even love libbo?...

and if i get serious?... obviously my perspectives and priorities are different and eventually, even when i like someone, i just wander of amused by the stars or flowers or clouds or patterns in ceiling stucco or something like that...

its not that i want to be alone, i just don't want to fake it...