maybe it's the mayans

which is the joke as it wasn't the mayans in the first place who created the end of the world myth, it was the biblical fear-mongers, the fire and brimestone paranoid neurotics and greedy power mad kings and popes who needed the fear of god to control the masses... coincidence that it is called mass?... yeah, holy heretic, aye batman?... but what i was joking about is maybe it's the dark forces and hate of open minds (like mine, ya know) and my willingness to be their martyr that allows their negative energy into the life i experience and provide all these obstacles that this year, 2012, have provided... trusting aamco did not help... the car has never been the same since the day i let aamco touch the engine...

anyway, of course i want to eat so there is the starving begging staring dog laying his guilt trip on me and it doesn't matter that it is the middle of the night and i want some time for myself as happiness is wide awake now wanting to play and stay outside and whining for his mommy and above all else, wanting more food as if he is never fed so i am not sleeping for a while and, in real time, waited two more hours and a half for him to fall back to sleep so i could eat in peace and just as i sat the food in front of me his one still excruciatingly acute sense (he's near deaf and going a bit blind) screams out to him with scent so there he is again staring, begging, starving...

i am sometimes so poor with boundaries when i am starving myself... so before that last paragraph (time warp, get it?) i though that maybe i will cook some pasta or other comfort food as the worm song is asking to be sung... also the life sucks, then you die crap of human folly and the challenges of physical reality and all that, at least for those of us who understand what it's all about but do not want to play the game and take advantage of everybody else... it's a karma thing, or something like that...

any enlightenment going on?... sigh...

narf :}