sleep, that is... waking refreshed (sorta almost) for the first time in a while... that makes no sense though, does it?... i mean, i've not been working for almost four weeks and i haven't caught up on sleep, i mean, just sleep and get that real rest that i haven't gotten in years, right?... well not so simple, obviously, cuz the stress of years of being beaten up and the suddenness of the final blow has left me with a bout of ptsd... don't laugh, i'm serious, i have all the symptoms...
so unappreciated, so abused, so discarded, so what now... sadly, i've been here before... i'll find my way through and the process proceeds with this acceptance of the situation... it's kind of like the greiving process, if you know what that entails... the bubbles of anger bug me when i lay down in bed... the unfinished business and unresolved issues too... time to resolve a few...
then there's the pressure of needing a job fighting with the desire to give myself the summer off to relax and enjoy rest and time for me... stop fighting guys, it's keeping me awake...
yeah, see what eight hours sleep gets me?... closer to clarity :)
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