incommunicato

inco muni cato (nano klaktu nickto?)... no really, i've been gone so long it feels like here to me... in the silence (if you have the time to follow that path to the current pause)... nobody seems to know, or notice, or care which me is here or where i might be... that's so depressing for the social being who hungers for sharing, intimacy, and some sense of belonging and being wanted... it's been so long since anyone wanted me, wanted to be around me, with me, inside me... and yet, for the child inside who always accepted the reality of aloneness that is this life, it's just the way it is... and the shared illusion of desire and wanting to the point of need is not as appealing as it once was, not appealing enough to trust another person to share that precarious balance at the moment... and it's been that way for a long long time... so i am lonely, and yet, i am here loving being and if no one understands and shares as i do, then it is what it is...

and that's (e)thereal too :)