first stop (as it used to be)

as it used to be, this (e)thereal blog is becoming the first stop at the computer before checking online anywhere else because, as it used to bem, the writing is primarily for myself and all the seeking of inspiration outside of myself and my physical experiences, senses, perspectives, perceptions, and so on is an escape valve brought on by diminished self-respect, esteem, and empowering loneliness so this is a good sign after all this time alone that this first stop feels as natural and right and good as it always did, as it used to be...

some work done at work, but mostly a drifting day as the morning meetings sucked up the am and brain fatigue and distraction sucked up the pm... there is some organizing going on, but not as much as could be if my focus was sharp and my energy was higher... breakfast and some sort of mid day meal would be wise...

left early to shop for halloween since i am doing as i've done every year for the past five years, going in at 6am tomorrow to set up the haunted house for the kids and i talked the boss into throwing me $50, but the rest i'll donate myself as i do every year... the kids love it and even if no one else appreciates it, that is (the kids) what really matters...

home to eat and change and spend a bit of time with jackson who hurt cuz a very close second father figure died today and she went out to talk to someone who could help so i went to softball and as usual, we played strangely, giving the other team five and six outs every inning due to errors and hitting inconsistently, ending up with a 15-15 tie... i knocked in the tying run and the winning run was on second, but the two batters following me could not bring her home, so tie... better than the three game losing streak we were on, but we should have won the game... shoulda coulda woulda, aye?... fun, anyway :)

and home wired and hungry (emo hunger?... probably 60-70% or more) and ate vegetarian vegetable soup and spaghetti and meatballs and fat free american cheese (casserole style) cuz it was easy and watched the end of the world series game two (can a team {texas} fall apart in the 8th inning any worse?) with jackson and she went to bed and i'm sitting here tapping the keys and now, we are up to date with most if not all of what happened today and now, considering the second stop online as the body/brain is still wired but reminding myself that i must sleep some and have a very early morning and long day on my feet in costume ahead tomorrow... fun fun fun and no t-bird required, nyuk...

how much fun are you making in your life? :)

yeah, i really do want to know...