saturday night

so many choices for some sort of social interaction and i choose to relax at home and give myself some private self-time... two people out there in the local real life wanted to get together this weekend, but sometimes i just want to take care of my own stuff and be alone... so i am doing laundry and might actually do some re-packing and deep cleaning tonight...

saturday night, for the world who works the monday through friday 9-5, is also a time for relationships... coupling... and lately i've been pondering coupling more than i have in recent times (any wonder why my rhymes have slowed to a crawl, aye?)... that's mostly because jane brings it up and you know me, hopefully hopeful romantic... so actually, asking me brings up the fact that i am alone and why a hopefully hopeless romantic is not in love in a wonderful intimate happily-ever-after relationship is probably a fair question... good, even...

my first thought is that i could fall into a relationship anytime because sharing and loving is easy for me and yet, do i really want a temporary fling... not really, so she'd have to be nearly ideal in the no-strings and libido-fantasy sense... but for someone mature with a family who might want to develop a permanent relationship that becomes part of the whole life i've lived... well, for that i seem to become a drama queen with all sorts of excuses and baggage and obstacles and excuses, did i mention excuses?... like ok, i should probably deal with the stuff in storage and the unresolved toronto crap and the fact that i ask for too much of humans (just to dream the impossible dream and live it like i do, but that's too much, like i know i ask perfection from a quite imperfect world and i'm fool enough to think that's what i'll find but just because i believe in love and that illusion, but that does not mean i do not know it is an illusion...

what?...

oh, yeah, i'm babbling... maybe later some babble-place will find a new entry... saturday night, the laundry is calling, the house is asking for cleaning and all that, i hope you are enjoying yourself too :)