as much as i enjoy, yes enjoy (shhh, i actually love it) playing the martyr because it allows me to feel superior cuz it leads to the logical conclusion that i love more intensely, more loyally, more deeply, and more truly than anyone in spite of the horrible pain and negative aspects of the experience (not to mention it being one of the most profound actualizations of loneliness), but really now, life in the moment, the sharing of the wonders and loves and passions, that is the magic that makes life way too exciting to be sad for long...
if dying for you would make it better for you, i would... but in thereal, it wouldn't, and it didn't, and we'll all enjoy life a whole lot more when get over the fear and leave that delusion behind... believe in this and you are free...
someday we'll all understand :)
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